Thursday, November 29, 2007

Use and Abuse

Recently I saw some people that were quite disappointed with being used and abused, a feeling that I am sure all of us have been through in some stage of our life. It is a feeling when we feel that a person befriends us, takes services of us or associates with us only until they have a need or requirement, after which there seems to be a major change in attitude and character of that person towards us.

Those of us who have been through that will realise that the feeling is really ‘depressing’ and it diminishes and dampens a person’s feeling, at times, to an extent where that person is left heart-broken and useless.

It makes me ponder at times what drives a ‘human’ to act in this manner towards another person that they treated as a friend or was on good terms with. The nature of a person should be such that he is approachable and can approach others.

The Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم has mentioned in a Hadith:

“A believer is approachable (people incline to him) and there is no good in that person who does not approach others (creates an inclination) and to whom people do not approach”

So in reality, a person who uses people as stepping stones or keeps relationships until there is no need are in reality deprived of any good within themselves.


When we look at people and our emotions when we feel ‘used and abused’, we realise that it really aggravates a form of distance from that person at times because we look over the things that ‘we have done for them’ in comparison to ‘how they treated us’.

This probably occurs once in our life with any individual; once they are done with us it is unlikely that they will do the same thing again to us as there will be no connection. However, have we ever considered that amount of times we have used this same behaviour and attitude towards Allah? In times of need we approach and make promises to Him and when the situation is resolved we happily return to our old ways forgetting all promises and pledges we made to Him. Yet we see that Allah is so merciful he never leaves us and neither does he distance Himself by looking over all the gifts and benefits he has given us from even before the day we were born. Allah’s mercy overlooks our behaviour and gives us another chance to befriend Him and make the most of His friendship… The question that now remains is ‘How many times are we willing to ‘use and abuse’ Allah, His friendship and His mercy?

In the same context, it should be remembered that in reality a Mu’min should incline himself towards Allah alone and that people should approach him for his religion, piety and closeness to Allah; for if this is a case then those who approach them will seldom leave such a company in which Allah’s presence can be felt.

Furthermore, we should not be disheartened if people leave us but instead revaluate and access whether Allah is still with us… For there is no greater loss in this world or the Hereafter if Allah leaves us.

May Allah give us all the inclination, strength and understand to be inclined towards Him and those that are inclined towards Him. May He grant us His love, the love of those who love Him, the love of our Beloved صلي الله عليه و سلم and those who love him also. May He distance us from the attitudes of remembering Him in times of needs and forgetting Him in times of happiness Aameen.


Anonymous said...

directed at me? that was not the intention.

Abbey said...

Thanks for writing that Zain, it was something I needed to read as I am feeling these thoughts with a friend at the moment...

I am not a muslim, but I was drawn to this blog, and the words of you & your Allah have given me much to think about, so thank you again....A

Zain said...


I wasn't actually directing the post at anyone; it was a general thought that went through my mind... I hope this clears your conscience as it was not directed at anyone in particular.


Life is amazing in regards to what it throws at us through the hands of our 'friends' or our enemies. At times our friends cause us stabbing pains whilst it is our 'enemies' who provide the ointment for it.

I am pleased that you dropped by. Hope to see you around more often.

Islam is an amazing religion, the more I ponder over it the more I realise that every event of our life is somehow connected to Allah and our belief in Him.

Wish you the best in what you are going through and I hope that Allah keeps you strong in every test of life.


attracted2light said...


Recently came accross your blog, and benefitted much from this particular post and this statement>
"we should not be disheartened if people leave us but instead revaluate and access whether Allah is still with us… For there is no greater loss in this world or the Hereafter if Allah leaves us"

thank you, jaazak-Allah, wassalam